The one thing which used to hurt me in the past is making me laugh now.
In this internet age, you can tell about a person by seeing his bookmarks. I do have them too. Starting from Data Entry and ending with Virtual Reality, I have got a large bunch of bookmarks out there in the bar. Everything fascinates me. But, for a day or two. And, in the process of making myself understand this, I was hurting myself in the last few years.
My week might start with Psychology on Sunday passing over to Animation on Monday, which makes me bored just before the sunset. So, I go with Coding on Tuesday but get tired of it, only to learn Web Development on Wednesday until Marketing excites me for Thursday. Soon, Friday fever catches up with Music & Dance to expect an Arijit Singh & Hrithik Roshan out of myself. Just before the moment, I feel happy, Saturday’s Stock Market creeps into my brain. Guess what, my progress bar in everything was less than 0.1%.
Obviously, this hurts me which makes my next week so bad that I won’t even type in anything out of the last week’s “Passions” in the Google Search Bar. And, this goes on and on till I feel that I’m the most useless & worthless. One day, I might feel excited about something & I breathe that in every moment of that day, and the next day, Boom, it matters nothing to me.
This was the case till the August of 2020. I graduated. Corporate Life started hitting me up. Don’t worry, I’m not the guy who complains about my job. All of a sudden, I started taking care of myself more. Not surprising though, I was the only one to witness my “Suffernama”. I stopped complaining about myself. I knew I can come out of this. I didn’t quite understand if I have to be the selfless guy or the selfish one because the possible outcomes of both make me suffer. The guilt that I was selfish is quite similar to the regret that I was selfless. Not sure which one to choose, I pick up my phone to call/text. Nope, I need to deal with this myself. I put the phone out of my sight. And this used to happen a lot of times & a few exceptions too. I started becoming this guy who can initiate the conversation. I loved it. I genuinely loved it. I’m not talking about the work. It’s talking with people. Sharing my stories. Every time I grabbed an opportunity, I have seen instant results. And I am proud of that even though there were a few rough patches. And I was perfectly selfish at this time. And then, with time, people change. I had to become this selfless guy whom I love more than being a selfish one. And then, I could pipeline things pretty much well.
Back in engineering, I always had this doubt of how people could manage time. But, coping up with corporate life is something so fun that I started managing my time well. The last 9 months have taught me a lot. I hated talking to people who were quick at judgements but I loved talking to people who are enthusiastic. Maybe like me, I am not sure. I shared my thoughts with many of them. Some of them were in their 40s. I can call them my mentors. There were people who were younger but has this wide view of understanding things. And then, I was totally happy and positive. But the waves of negativity from the past used to hit me a few times. But, I know I have changed a lot. I can just hit it back to the place of its worth. I was always on the verge of doing something exciting or at least saying something that makes me excited. This can be my pursuit of happiness & sadness so far.
I believe in something sounding similar to this. Only humans have this special ability to convert the unseen ideas in their brains to something which everybody can see. Let’s make it worthwhile.
Comments
Post a Comment